cowboy boot roller skates

Last Friday, June 19th, was my 31st birthday. Boyfriend had been planning a secret surprise trip for us all week. I had packed the insect repellent, toilet paper, and prepared foods because i presumed we would be roughing it as we have been attempting to save money and we do enjoy the outdoors. “We won’t be needing that stuff where we’re going,” he said.

Boyfriend shocked the hell out of me! He took me to the nicest resort on the cleanest lake in the region…Table Rock Lake.

We enjoyed the privacy of our own cabin.

With kitchen, fireplace, jacuzzi tub, king sized bed, and deck with wooded view.

A birthday cake, card, and balloon were awaiting our arrival. Did I mention that I LOVE surprises!!!

I am pretty sure this was the nicest birthday surprise I have ever received. In fact, I told Boyfriend that this was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me! I absolutely loved it! We ate dinner while watching the sunset over the lake. We relaxed around a lazy river, took the boat for a ride on the lake, lounged around the cabin, strolled the property, and ate a yummy Sunday brunch buffet! Very enjoyable weekend.

In addition to the trip, I also was surprised with a very stylish Jessica Steele apron and a large bottle of Mexican vanilla! Both of these items were on my birthday email wish list that I sent to Boyfriend in a timely manner approximately six weeks before my birthday. I have learned that due to his tendency to procrastinate, he isn’t able to purchase gifts online because he does not allow for shipping time. Man, did he plan ahead this year!!!

What are some of your most memorable birthday surprises?

Doesn’t that sound nice?  Love Mom and Dad.

I was recently forwarded an email sent from my stepfather to my half sister who is studying in Germany for the summer.  The email was signed Love Mom and Dad.  Not sure I had ever seen those words in writing before.  I read them again and again and again.

Love Mom and Dad.  Love Mom and Dad.

My parents divorced before I learned to read.  In my memories, I never had a “Mom and Dad”.  I have an amazing, very involved, Dad.  And I have a loving Mom.  And a very reliable and caring stepfather.

Mom and Dad.  Mom and Dad.  It sounds so comforting and encouraging.  The two words just sound like they are meant to be together, side by side.  Mom and Dad.  I can’t wait to sign birthday cards “Love, Mom and Dad”.  To be Mom and Dad.  To call up the kids on the phone and shout, “It’s Mom and Dad!”  I can’t imagine anything making us happier.

Boyfriend is going to be the most amazing father.  I am certain that being Dad will make him the happiest he can be.  Potential he didn’t even realize he had, will be reached and maxed.  He is going to be the proudest dad.  Taking more photos and video of our little ones than he knows what to do with.  Love Mom and Dad.

Boyfriend insists that our children will be water skiing and snow skiing as soon as they learn to walk one foot in front of the other!  I will fill the chairs around my new dining room table with happy, smiling, hungry faces.  I am going to be the mom who always fixes a sandwich for my kids, even if they are not hungry.  The kitchen will be our comfortable-always-welcome-anytime space…I will sit at the table with them, sandwich on plate, and I will always be there to talk, or listen, or just be there.  Love Mom and Dad.

We will take the most amazing family vacations.  And have simply amazing times exploring our own home, yard, neighborhood, and city.  Our kids will grow up camping, swimming, boating, riding the train through the Colorado Rockies, climbing mountains, helping in the yard, learning to cook, gardening, singing, playing musical instruments, dancing, giggling, laughing, listening to old country music, learning, roller skating (of course), and no doubt we will continue our semi-annual “unplugged/no power weekends”.

And they will so very often find comfort in the words… Love Mom and Dad.

My grandmother turns ninety years old in two months and three days.  She was born in 1919.  She lived through the Roaring Twenties.  She lived through the Great Depression.  But her family lived on a farm in Missouri and she says they didn’t experience the depression because they were self-sustaining, providing their dinners straight from the farm.  They were a very large family and they always had food.  When she was just five years old, she told her mom that she would stay home from school to help care for her little newborn baby brother. Five years old! Amazing.

Grandma finished college and became a high school English teacher at the young age of twenty-one years old.  She wore fashionable eye glasses simply to appear older to her students who were in some cases just three years younger than she!  She went on to become a principal of a high school and then she was a meteorologist with the U.S. Weather Bureau.  To this day she is terrified of tornadoes!

Grandma has lived in the same three bedroom one bath home for over fifty years.   My mother was born when Grandma was 31 years old…just a few months older than I am now.  She says that after Grandpa returned from serving in WWII, they had to start all over with jobs, house, each other.  I love this pic of them!

I enjoy visiting my grandmother and hearing all the stories of her past…and she loves to tell them!  I find myself thinking that I am a lot like her.

Go to Mel’s here to see what the others brought to Show and Tell!

I think the following story further demonstrates how different men and women really are and how their differences are heightened when they are in groups or two or more.

Yesterday I attended a birthday happy hour for my best friend. 

Yesterday my boyfriend attended a birthday happy hour for his buddy.

My happy hour consisted of five ladies, two glasses of wine, one beer, one mojito, and two waters, four appetizers, and three desserts…total.  Conversation included such topics as baby’s new “firsts”, how nursing postpones your period, wrinkle cream, past weekend events, next weekend events, dog training, family, shopping, and chocolate.  Happy hour commenced at 5:30pm and came to an end just before 7:30pm.  I was home before dark, watched television and went to bed.  Sober.

Boyfriend’s evening included buddies, coworkers, acquaintances, and other random folks unfortunate enough to be standing nearby at the bar.  Drinks included numerous pints then quickly moved to shots of whiskey, I’m certain.  Or maybe tequila.  Or maybe both.  Too many to count.  Folks shuffled around the bar, to the restroom, outside to smoke, back inside to cover from the rain.  I’m certain that no food was consumed, as that would simply detract from the inane drunkenness that makes a man’s happy hour so much fun.  What little conversation there was, led to discussion of drinking more pints, and then more shots.  More shots for the birthday boy in particular…and all of his good friends.  By this time of the evening, everyone is a good friend.  The best part of the night is how my boyfriend ended up at home with no car and no car keys.  After quickly providing me with a brief summary of the evening and a half ass explanation of how he ended up on our doorstep with no car and no car keys, he promptly passed out.   I, having frequent insomnia, laid awake in bed for the next hour or two to witness the following:  Boyfreind’s phone rings.  I see not even the slightest  indication from him that he hears the ring.  The phone rings again.  Nothing fromBoyfriend.  Third time, I pick up his phone from the nightstand place it on his chest and say “Your phone is ringing.”  Too late.  Ringing stopped.  Fourth time, he hears the ring and reaches over and smacks the alarm clock.  “Ring!”  Smacks the alarm clock again.  I shout, “It’s your phone!”  Fifth time’s a charm.  He manages to answer the phone.  There was actually some chuckling and discussion of the location of the car and/or key and talk of returning it tomorrow, followed by a birthday wish, and passed out again.  Really?!  Birthday Boy caused you how much inconvenience, and you are polite and chit-chatty with him on the phone!?  Thirty-five minutes later, Boyfriend arises from the bed to locate the bathroom, which mind you, is literally three feet from the foot of the bed, to the right.  He found it, first try.  Exiting the bathroom is when he ran into some trouble.  I suspect it took him three attempts.  The first was out through the window, as evidenced by the blinds lifted half way, but just on the left side of the window.   Second most sensible option of course must have been through the towel rack, as I heard a great deal of wall thumping and plastic polymer towel rack jiggling.  He was so close, just a ninety degree turn to the right and …the door!  He quickly threw my towel into the sink and was free!  Back to the bed.  Forty five minutes later he was up again.  This time he sat up in bed and froze like a mummy, as he sometimes does when in this state, and it always precedes a trip to the bathroom.  Next he rose from the bed.  This time his trouble was in finding the bathroom, not the exit.  He made it as far as far as the foot of the bed.  Then he assumed the position to…well urinate.   He was in the stance, waiting for it, then all of a sudden it was like he was struck with sobriety, nah wasn’t that, he was struck with just enough realization that, uh, there was no toilet anywhere in sight.  He sharply turned one-eighty and headed into the bathroom again.  This time, he was successful in locating the exit right away, and back to bed.  The entertainment ceased for the night, and eventually I dozed off.  

Really?  REALLY???  

Sugar and spice and all things nice…  Snips and snails and puppy dog tails…  Whoever wrote that is a flippin’ genius.

Relationships are hard enough.  When something in a person’s life takes them away from their significant other for periods of time…this is even more challenging.  My boyfriend is very committed to his band.  Six weekends out of nine, from the end of May through the end of July are occupied with the band.  Keep in mind that he has a full time “real” job in addition Mon-Fri.  I had a breakdown over the weekend and didn’t think it was going to work.  I didn’t think I would ever be happy now, or ten years from now, with him away so much.  It is lonely. 

We discussed it and this is what we came up with:

1.       He is going to be more communicative regarding his schedule. 

2.       He is going to attempt to include me in some of his band’s events. 

3.       I am going to be more supportive of his band.   

4.       We are going to plan fun-weekend-type-dates together, only during the week when he is in town, and/or on weekends when he is here.

I know it may seem silly.  My gosh, those serving in the armed forces leave their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/children for months at a time, and they work it out.  Couples survive much more challenging circumstances than what we are dealing with right now.  I know that.  But, for me right now, it is The World.  He is very passionate about his music, and I have to support that.  I can’t assume that circumstances will change in the future.  We have to figure out how to make it work for us now and forever.  We wonder now, if it’s so challenging for us, how would we ever survive with children? 

How do you do it? Does anyone have conflicting schedules with their husband/wife/other?  How do you manage? 

I need an instruction manual for How to Love a Man who Loves his Music.  Anyone got one???   

I have been troubled the last couple of weeks. 

1.     My boyfriend has not quit smoking.

2.     A majority of my boyfriend’s time is consumed by his band.

3.     My freakin’ sunburn from two weeks ago continues to hurt like hell and has prevented me from working out regularly.

4.     Our dog’s arthritis has gotten worse and it breaks my heart to watch her in pain.

5.     I still hate my job and cannot find another one.

6.     I am broke.

This list seemed so much longer when caught up in moments of fury. 

Sitting here at home on Saturday morning, enjoying my time off…I am reviewing each stressor. 

I asked Boyfriend why he doesn’t quit smoking.  I told him that it will make his heart healthier and his world happier.   He said, “I know.”  That’s all I can do.  Wait for him to be ready to quit.  Gosh, I hope it happens soon.  I hate watching him commit suicide.  It’s not fair to love someone so much and to have to watch him hurting himself.  And to feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Nearly every other weekend he goes away with the band to perform.  I stay home to take care of the dog.  He may miss my niece’s first birthday party.  He will be away for the Fourth of July weekend.  I hate that he may miss these times and more.  But, there is nothing I can do.  He is committed to his band and must play these shows.  I remind myself that everything changes.  Nothing remains the same.  He’s committed to the band now.  Although music will always be an important part of his life, one day the band may not be such a commitment. 

I am still angry with myself for allowing the damn sun to destroy my leg.  

I visited the doctor.  And it is slowly getting better.  My mother had melanoma when she was just a few years older than I.  I am so angry with myself for allowing this to happen. Never again.  Sunscreen, sunscreen, and more sunscreen for me!  I am cancelling my gym membership to save money.  But soon my leg will be healed and I’ll be running on the open road…training for a 5k!

We got more meds from the vet for the dog’s arthritis.  She is just over eleven years old and I don’t want to see her suffering so much in her later years.  I think the meds are helping more now.  She made it up the stairs on her own yesterday. 

For nine months I have been searching for a new job.  Three promising interviews, but no offers.  Bad timing.  Soon after I finished my masters’s degree, the economy went to hell.  Come on economy, pull through!!!  I deserve a rewarding career, GOSH!!! 

Even though my salary is crap, I am managing to pay off my debt.  Slowly but surely.  I have very little spending money and often order water when going out for drinks with friends.  But my car will be paid off by February 2010.  And my credit card debt by September 2010.  Snowball effect.  I learned that from David Ramsey.  Then I will start to accumulate savings.  Although it seems like I am the poorest person I know right now…I will be in much better shape in the long term.

So maybe my life is not so bad.  I like to think that I am doing everything I can to make it the best it can be.  And to be the happiest and healthiest I can.  

Some things that make me happy:

Boyfriend.  He loves me and shows me.  He may not tell me as much as I’d like.  But, even with his busy schedule, I know he’s there for me when I really need him.

Bestest BFF ever!  Even with a new baby at home, a husband, house, job, dissertation, family, friends, church…she has time for me when I need her.  And let me tell you…I need her!  She is the best!

My sister is a doll.  I am so proud of her.  On Monday she left for a study abroad program in Germany.  She is going to be an environmental scientist and help U.S. companies keep up and stay Green!  She makes good decisions, thinks of her future, and enjoys her life.  Sometimes, I wish I could be more like my little sister!  :)  She is twenty years old.  She and her boyfriend have been dating since they were sixteen.  Cute pic of them!

And how darn cute is my niece!  Just looking at her smiling face makes me happy!

And homemade chocolate chip cookies make me happy…and hungry!

And the roses outside my front door!